Let us write a RESIGNATION LETTER FOR YOU!

IF YOU’RE A BIT MIFFED AND WISH TO LEAVE A PARTING GIFT…

Dearest Lorraine,

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out smarter things than you come up with. But don’t feel bad, a lot of people don’t have any talent.

Dave

Dear Frank, (AKA Captain Coleslaw)

We call you this because you’re 90% cabbage. And yes, I resign.

Cheers,

Dave.

Dear Nigella,

Working with you has been like having a migraine 9-5. I never thought I’d ever come to fully detesting the sound of someone actually breathing but somehow you achieved that with flying colours!

For the benefit of anyone that has the misfortune of taking over from me please allow me to impart some advice to you:

Dental hygiene is REALLY quite important in your case

Your jokes are shit

Long hair is a good thing - but not the ones coming out of your nose and chin

Farewell,

Dave.

Boss,

You’re like a cloud. When you fuck off the day gets brighter and better. Unfortunately you’re here all the time though.

Bye,

Dave.

Boss,

I thought of you today, it reminded me that I needed to take a shit. As such, I farted into this envelope, it should smell like 2 weeks notice?

Thanks,

Dave

Dear Alan,

I’m really relieved to give you this letter

In the vain hope that it makes you do better

At treating your staff in the way they deserve

Rather than being all lecherous and a sickening perv

HR will be contacting you shortly,

Dave

Dear Mark,

I have neither the time, patience or crayons to explain this to you properly as your IQ is only just above room temperature. 

Working for you has been horrendous.

I find the fact that you’ve lived this long with nothing but your intelligence, charm and wit to guide you through life in equal parts surprising as well as disappointing.

You should really come with a warning label.

Dave.

If you feel a humorous and somewhat insulting missive could pave your way to feeling better please get in touch!