Let us write a poem or lyric just for you.

Poetry is plucking at the heartstrings and making music with them

- Dennis Gabor

Or you can use it to make people happy, sad, or use it as a way to try and get in their knickers - all romantic like!

And I can help with that!

Probably…..

Poems!! (few examples)

You’re a natural Mum
Your skills are uncanny
And I’m really sorry
For destroying your fanny

Roses are red, our bedroom it calls
I’ve just had a bath and shaven my balls

Roses are red, but I’m no good at vocab
So just get down here and munch my kebab!

There was a young hooker from Crewe
Who filled her fanny with glue
She said, with a grin
“If they pay to get in”
“They’ll pay to get out of it too!”

There was once this woman called Mary
Whose foof was exceptionally hairy
But a brave man with a strimmer
Took hours to trim’err
Revealing something quite scary

There was a fine fellow from Poole
Who found red spots on his tool
But his Doctor, a cynic
Said “Get out of my clinic!”
And wash off that lipstick you fool!

Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree

Rockin’ around, the Christmas tree
Let the Christmas spirit ring
Then i’ll treat your ass and your hairy pie
To some top notch fingering

Last Christmas

Last Christmas, I trusted a fart
And the very next day i threw my panties away
This year, to save me from tears
I’m wearing some big girl pampers…